Do you struggle with your weight? I for sure struggle with it when I allow myself too. In fact, I just scarfed down a tortilla with cold cheese. I mean I didn’t even heat it up to make it a real quesadilla. I was starving and too lazy to make anything else, and if there had been leftover pizza or something, I would have just eaten it cold over the sink. Look, some days are just like that, and you can’t beat yourself up over it.
If you don’t want society to tell you how to look, stop reading People, Cosmo, and InStyle. It’s not that difficult. Stop giving excuses why society is making you think a specific way; you are choosing to see what you see. I do CrossFit. These ladies who CrossFit are brave, strong, and awesome. I don’t feel like I need to be a supermodel when I’m around them. I chose to change what I was looking at when it came to my body and what I defined as sexy and good enough. When you change your mindset, you open yourself up to limitless possibilities. If you have a much deeper issue around food and weight and need counseling to work through it, don’t feel ashamed. Be proud you want to work on it and find people to help you overcome. That is the greatest gift you can give yourself.
I also want to talk about this anti-drinking movement where women are telling each other they don’t need to drink to “survive” motherhood. This is the dumbest way I have ever seen women shame each other. Look, if you have a drinking problem, it’s real and you need help and support. If you are depressed or in a difficult situation and use alcohol to numb yourself, you need help and support. Get it.
I drink wine and a lot of it because I love wine. I like to learn about it, share it with my friends, and yes, sometimes drink a bottle by myself because I can’t deal with all the things going on. Shit happens, and sometimes you deal with it in ways that might not be the most healthy. But then you get up the next day and try again. But I also drink wine when I’m celebrating or having a quiet discussion with my husband on the couch after the kids go to bed. This is actually my most favoritest thing I do with him. (yes, I know that favoritest isn’t really a word.) This is how we bond and ENJOY life together. It’s okay to enjoy your life and your partner.
Pairing Wine With Life
The lifecycle of a bottle of wine is much like real life. A young bottle of wine is tight, closed off and sharp around the edges. She has the opportunity to become much more than her current self but needs time to learn and mature.
As the wine gets older, she’s still closed off but is starting to loosen up and become something new. But then someone mistreats her, and the wine is shaken. She finds herself in a dark place trying to recover and maybe never does. Then perhaps while trying to recover, the wine is exposed to a toxic environment and becomes tainted and as she grows becomes angrier and angrier until finally she stops trying altogether. She lives out the rest of her life feeling she’ll never amount to anything and is totally undrinkable. The wine never finds inner peace or what she’s meant to be in life and finally gives up and is thrown out with the trash.
Some of us can relate to this, can’t we? But the thing is, we get what we focus on and become who we hang out with. If we hang out with angry people, we become angry. If we only read People and Cosmo magazine and follow models on Instagram, we will end up feeling our bodies are not what they should be. If we visit the bar after work every day and commiserate with others there too, we might end up depressed and with a drinking problem. If you watch 24hour news stations, well, you’re doomed to be unhappy.
Some of us age gracefully like the best of the best wine. Our hard edges begin to soften, we open up about our goals and dreams, we realize we’ll be judged negatively by some, but others will follow and love us. We also realize society can’t influence us because we choose to decide what we believe in and what we don’t. I find humor in the wine memes and moms doing pushups to drink wine. Those crack me up. If they bother you, take them out of your feed but don’t shame me for liking them. I eat healthy 90% of the time, drink Pepsi, eat Doritos and wonder when I should get botox. I’m not always happy with myself (which by the way is normal!) but I never give up. Chill out.
Change your Mindset
People, life is what YOU make of it. Not what society tells you to do, not what your parents tell you to do, not what anyone tells you to do. Stop bitching and making excuses and needing others to affirm you. Read motivating books, attend seminars for personal growth, hire a coach, take a risk in your business, make time for your kids, quit the job that isn’t paying you what you think you deserve. Look to places of peace and happiness, not judgment, and you will no longer have to live tight, closed off, and rough around the edges.